Creative Comedy Project

Jelly By Gaynor Jones


There’s never a good time to look like Hitler when you're a fourteen year old girl. But especially not when you're dressed as a land girl at a VE Day anniversary street party. Linda had begged us to help hand out the food. Even offered us a fiver each but she needn't have. Tommy was going to be there, in uniform. That was all the payment we needed.

He looked more Rodney Trotter than Rambo, but still, Tommy was there. His khaki kecks were hoisted by thick white braces til his bits nearly showed through. Andrea and me nearly dropped a tray of jellies. I had to keep turning away, the bulge was too much. He still looked fit but I'd never really looked below his waist before. I'd never even snogged anyone so anything from the neck down was still a mystery to me. Neck up too, who am I kidding?

Tommy didn't know it, but it was his fault I looked like Hitler. I wanted to impress him, but Mam didn't let me bleach me tache, so I'd gone down to Andrea’s to blag her big sister’s tweezers. But Jeeeeeeeeesus the pain! I've never known anything like it. After twenty minutes of tweezing and tugging she gave up.

‘It's just too thick, Nad, you need a bloody hedge trimmer.’

I saw Tommy ditch his drink tray and slope round the back of the bouncy castle. I don't know if it was the brass band or the outfit or what but I went after him.


‘Yeah. What you doin?’

‘I was gonna have a fag but me Mam’ll smell it a mile off so I've got this instead.’

He showed me a jelly and I laughed.

‘Ooh. Bad boy.’

Oh bloody hell. I sounded like I was trying to talk dirty.

‘Here. Share it?’

We sat by the electric pump and dug our fingers into the jelly, laughing. I wanted him to smear it all over me and lick it off but how do you go about asking something like that?

He plopped a blob in his mouth then bared his teeth, pushing the jelly through so it oozed through the gaps. I copied him and dribbled it down my chin because, you know, that's how special I am around boys. He laughed and wiped it away then leaned in. The jelly swam from his mouth to mine, from mine to his. Strawberry slush and salty saliva. I didn't know whether to be thrilled or disgusted. We carried on until the whole tub was gone then he stood and turned quickly. The bouncy castle wasn't the only thing inflating. I stayed on the floor, sticky fingers and sticky lips, until I realised he'd gone. I walked out to find Andrea.

‘Whats that red all over your face? Come ere, it's all stuck in your tache.’

We linked arms and walked to the dancefloor, watching our parents embarrass us. I licked my lips and began to dance with them.



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