Creative Comedy Project
Not from round here By Myra Appannah
KALA - YOUNG ASIAN WOMAN
JAZ - OLDER, AFGHAN MAN
TWO CHAIRS AND A PLASTIC TABLE WITH A PLASTIC FLOWER IN A CHEAP VASE IN THE MIDDLE. KALA ENTERS, ELEGANTLY DRESSED. SHE SWINGS HER HEAVY HANDBAG ONTO THE TABLE KNOCKING OFF THE FLOWER.
KALA: (TO NO ONE) Oh sorry.
SHE WHIPS HER MACBOOK AIR OUT IN A HURRY.
JAZ: (APPROACHES, PICKS UP THE FLOWER) Hello.
JAZ: Not seen you in here before.
KALA: No. (BEAT) I’m not from around here.
JAZ: I can see that. Where are you from?
KALA: (LONG PAUSE) Where are you from?
JAZ: Afghanistan. 16 years. So where are you really from?
JAZ: Not with that beautiful skin huh?
KALA: I moisturise regularly and barely go outside during
JAZ: Sri Lanka? India? Pakistan?
JAZ: What would you like to drink?
KALA: Cup of tea please.
JAZ: Of course. What sort?
KALA: Just normal.
JAZ: Normal? Do you mean English Breakfast Tea?
KALA: Well, yes.
KALA BEGINS TO TYPE FRANTICALLY. JAZ WATCHES HER FROM BEHIND THE COUNTER THEN BRINGS THE TEA IN. SHE DOWNS IT. AFTER A MOMENT SHE LOOKS UP, TRYING TO CATCH JAZ’S EYE.
JAZ: Hello. Hope you’re not going back to wherever you came from already?
KALA: Just another tea please.
JAZ BRINGS OVER ANOTHER TEA.
JAZ: Here you go. One English Breakfast tea. (SITS AT THE TABLE WITH HER).
KALA: (QUICKLY DRINKS THE TEA). I’ll have another.
JAZ: Really? Another English Breakfast Tea?
KALA: No, not really. I just thought I’d keep ordering until you told me where the tea was really from. Sri Lanka? India? Pakistan?
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