Creative Comedy Project
Too soon? By Natalie Neagle
The sketch is by Natalie Neagle and Sally Samad.
Sarah: Excuse me... EXCUSE ME, PLEASE! Sorry, madam, but I’m going to have to ask you to pay for that bread.
Salli: What bread?
Sarah: That bread, just er, just in your hand there.
Salli: You think this is your bread?
Sarah: Yes, it belongs to the supermarket. So if you could just-
Salli: Oh, really?! And where do you think the supermarket got it from, hm?
Sarah: Baladi bread... I think that’s from-
Salli: BALADI bread, it’s pronounced BALADI bread... stupid girl. It’s From Egypt. Your people stole this bread from my homeland.
Sarah: I see where you’re coming from, Madam, but I’m sure the supermarket paid... Egypt for the bread.
Salli: Of course- my mistake! The British Empire is famous for “visiting” countries and “paying” for the natural resources.
Sarah: I... er-
Salli: I, I, I?! It’s all ‘me me me’ with you imperialists, isn’t it? You dare to demand payment for the bread you stole from my people.
Sarah: It’s just how things work over here.
Salli: Oh, we know how you British work. You rape and you pillage and then... as if that isn’t enough... you take our bread.
Sarah: How about you just keep the bread.
Salli: Oh, I WILL be keeping the bread, because it is my birthright. (fist in the air) For the Egyptian people!! (gets into car)
Sarah: OK, madam, but this has just got to stop! This this can’t keep happening! Last week, you stole 8 towels-
Salli: Made from Egyptian cotton! (slams car door shut and now speaks with an English accent) Hahaha (puts on shades)... what an idiot!
A sketch by ‘Neagle & Samad’ (Natalie Neagle and Sally Samad)
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