Tell A Tale — Gothic Fiction

Cyber Me By Portia Dodds

One me.



One I.



I am me and I am one.



I see my two hands and my two feet.



In my mirror I see me.



I see my two eyes.



Two eyes but one me.



Two eyes but one I.



I have two eyes that see me.



My mirror sees me.



One me. One me and two eyes but I am one.



Or is that so?



When I look at me in my one mirror I can see that I am not one at all but two.



One mirror on my bathroom wall but I carry at all times on my person two. One small and one bigger. Black mirrors. Two that I stare into more than my clear one. My small smartphone screen and my larger laptop screen. Beyond these mirrors I see my other self.



I as one become two.



Two me.



Two I.



I am me in flesh and I am me in cyber.



When I turn on my screen and click onto that little world-wide shared icon I am shredded. Myself falls away and a grinning goblin is revealed. My husk lays deflated on the floor and my eyes are transfixed. My brain is plugged in and my eyes feed on the thin blue light beaming into my retinas and suck and slurp the images and words. Gobbling and globbing it all.



Site after site.



Feed after feed.



Comment after comment.



Like. Emoji. Thumb.



Click clack snap snip tap tip on keys and pads.



Something grips me, freezes me and commands me.



I obey.



My eyes sting. My irises burn. My lids droop. But still I keep them open.



Forced. Held. Wedged.



I need more. More news more posts more images.



TrumpKoresaBrexitISISGlobalWarmingMacronMayTerroristEconomyBlackLivesTraffickingMiddleEastAmericaUKEuropeEUMissileCorbynPayGapFemminsimMasculinityRacismIslamaphobiaAntiSemitismAltrightBombTerroristAirportSecurityRapeMurderGenocideMassacreHousingCrisisWhitePrivilegeNHSPrivatisationPensionsMillennials



I need more



Troll! Troll! Troll!



Fake news! Real news! Alternative facts!



Time ticks away. It slips and it evaporates and it vanishes. The feeds keep on coming.



Words and images and video clips. Thumbs and smiles. Gifs and comments.



Even when the screen turns off it still goes on.



When the screen is black and becomes a mirror again my second self never shrivels away. My husk is stuck back together but the gap for the goblin remains open. My eyes are dry and they crack. My brain fizzes and my facial nerves twitch. My fingers itch for more.



I need more.



Facebook Twitter Tumblr Reddit Youtube Pinterest Instagram



I crave to digest more.



So I unlock my phone press the buttons and start again. Again my shell falls away and my eyes gorge on what I see.



Me physical is dying and I cyber strengthens. Profile after profile. Login after login.



Tweet comment like share



All will stay forever and my eyes need to see it all.



My mirrors feed me and nourish me but also drain me.



Something behind those mirrors feeds off me.



I will never see it but I love it.



I am not one but two. Three. Four.



I am endless in cyber and Internet Land.


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